A Road Called Beautiful
Honestly, this is the most vulnerable I’ve allowed myself to be in a long time. It’s interesting to learn how to tackle things head on with the Holy Spirit and see the impact of going after issues. Trust me, in doing so, I’m experiencing deep peace, truth, joy and strength. It just dawned on me one day while at school here that I’ve been giving my signed permission to fear… and it has muzzled me in so many areas of my life, and I’m done with that agreement. Ha… I’ve cancelled that subscription.
I can’t tell you the joys of being empowered to take on your issues in a place of safety and strength. I’m so glad I realised that I’m not fighting on my own anymore. I’m learning to steward my life apart from a place of fear and into a tangible, even measurable, place of freedom.
This blog is a massive part of my freedom process. I’m not proclaiming to be an expert writer, but I know I have something to share… That’s why I called this blog “The Story of Freedom.”
So I thought I would share a poem with you called a ‘A Road Called Beautiful’. Let’s tackle this issue head on. Hmmm…Am I beautiful?
A Road Called Beautiful
There’s a road called beautiful.
The destination is unknown.
But it does exist, I know this for sure.
So how can I get there? And what must I do?
To change this ugly black girl to someone beautiful.
I heard rumours that only some people make it
And everyone who didn’t make it, they all just fake it
They say this road has a toll along the way
And I know I don’t have the right currency to pay.
So you see I’d rather die if I can’t arrive there
Where promises are made to the beautiful ones who paid.
They set the standard and they always pave the way
Cause only beautiful ones seem to get engaged.
I feel like a mess, the one that attracts NO interest
The mess that can’t win in this fundamental beauty contest.
So what do I do? And if I do, will it always be true?
And what do I change? So that everyone can approve.
Then someone replied to my deepest cries
In the longest hour of my darkness night.
And He spoke to me these words of life
Crushing the greatest lie that resides inside.
“The road you seek is a road that bleeds
Distorted GPS coordinates to drive you away from me.
Beautiful is who I am and who I made you to be
Beauty is your weapon so live fearlessly.
Don’t align yourself with the beat of perversion
Beautiful is your outward and inward expression
Look for the beauty I created and you will find.
That a road called beautiful doesn’t exist
And it was in you the entire time.”
Writing this poem is a reflection of the state of my mind and the fight to keep my head above water over the last few years. This was a crippling way to live, but my breakthrough came through a simple renewed question. Lyanna, what if you’re already beautiful? It started to stir hope deep within my being. I’ve learned that if you can’t see beauty in yourself, then how can I see it in others?
Love yourself well. That has been my greatest challenge. What if the accuser tells you who you are NOT, because it is they very thing you are? This revelation rocked me. WHO AM I?
What is beauty? Is this my weapon? How can I look at myself as beautiful when all I see is me…I decided to renew my thought process and take a chance (Faith) to believe that every negative thought I was having about my beauty was perverted and in actual fact an indication to the truth of who I am in Christ… I will no longer insult the Designer. This is my process and story of freedom.